"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
