you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
