I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
