Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
