im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I need water and some morals
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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