I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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