Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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