if you like me you must not know who I am
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
