just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
