I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Sorry my hands just texted you
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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