He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
