Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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