its not stalking. its research.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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