Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
