Midget sex pt 2 tonight
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
