Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
