At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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