I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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