I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
