Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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