is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
