Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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