You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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