I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
