you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
