I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
