Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
