She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
