So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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