Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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