just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
