Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
it's like heaven, but drunker
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
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