He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
