I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He has the fingertips of a God
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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