Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
