I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
