lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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