dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
