Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
