My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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