At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
whose parrot is this?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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