Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
