i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
