I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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