Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
