He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
