I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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