he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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