and she was petting her beer can
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
