Sry I called you an 8
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
